INTERPRETING DREAMS

I am still sleeping poorly, and woke up this morning at 3 AM.  I can’t make myself stay in bed.  So, I made some decaf, ate peanut butter and prepared to wait the four hours til sunrise.  I am so tired of my weird lack-of-sleep regimen.

Anyway, despite sleeping on adorable sheets my daughter and her family gave me, I decided to shift my insomniac self to the sofa in the living room.  Lying, curled up in that other room, I drifted off-and dreamed.

I dreamed that I lost my car(which sort of happened yesterday when I attended a meeting in a new location,) and looked for it in vain.  My late sister told me that in a dream, cars represent our lives, and I had obviously misplaced mine.

The good part of my nocturnal movie was that many people were willing to help me find my dark-gray Acura.  Eventually, they located the automobile.  But, have I lost my way?

In some respects, yes.  I am still texting men I “meet” online, but am now aware that most are not who they write they are.  They must steal pictures off the Internet, and manufacture fantasy profiles.  St least, I know this now.

So, no more aimless texting with strangers for me.  I don’t want to “lose my car” again, and will only be engaging in real person-to-person exchanges.

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TEXT TRASH TALK

OK, I admit the truth that as a single woman, I am on several dating sites online.  One man started texting me(yes, I gave him my phone number,) and we developed a technological connection.

He is twenty years younger, and of course I was flattered about the attention he gave me.  We shared stories of our families, past romantic encounters, and even engaged in some racy repartee.   I was hopeful we would meet and get along and after too many years alone, I would have a “boy”friend.

He texted me when I was in New Orleans, and when I returned home.  Some of our “conversations” lasted for one hour.  One small detail I left out-he lives two hours north of me.  We planned to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve together at his house in central Pennsylvania.

But, beginning a week or so ago, I noted that he texted me less often, and I had become attached and felt abandoned.  I told him we would have to have a casual meeting before any sleepovers, and he agreed.

We planned for him to drive down to meet me on Sunday, but he was a no-show.  When I texted him asking why he didn’t show, he said he was visiting his sister.  I was briefly hurt, and then angry.  Had all the texting been a joke on his end, or did he forget our planned meeting, or just decided no go?

When he texted an apology, I did not respond, and feel soft of empty now.  In the future, I will only communicate through a phone with real voices and choose a man closer to home.

I learned an important lesson-the cliche that if it sounds too good to be true, it is probably false.

HOMESICK

The Big Easy wasn’t so simple for me.  Just back from a trip to New Orleans, let me share my experience.

I was on a tour with Road Scholar for folks my age and was looking forward to my first out-of-town vacation in too many months.  So, I signed up for the adventure, made my Southwest plane reservations, stuffed my carry-on bag and headed South.

The travel was fine, with a stop in Tampa but no plane change.  I had already arranged ground transportation with the local Airport Shuttle, and they were waiting for me.  Getting to the hotel was not so easy.

It just so happened that my flight landed about one-half hour before the Saints’ football game, and I was staying right next to the Superdome.  Traffic was heavy and slow, but I was in no hurry.  Later that night, happy fans celebrated their team’s win in the bar of my hotel.  So far, so good.

I met the other participants and we shared facts of our lives and a yummy dinner.  The next morning, after breakfast, we attended a lecture about the history of New Orleans and some great tales of “interesting” people who lived there.

Then, a bus ride to the French Quarter and a visit to one of the above-ground cemeteries in this city that sits below sea level.  The monuments were huge, and it looked like a nice housing development for the dead.

Dinner, and another lecture followed that evening.  Tuesday morning, I was exhausted from poor sleeping and the minimal change to central time.  I opted to skip day’s activities and enjoyed time in my room looking at the downtown impressive skyline and watching TV.  I finished the day with a room-service dinner.

By Wednesday morning, I was beginning to sense creeping depression and fear of staying two more days.  Listening to my gut, I changed my airline reservations to that same day, and by three PM was heading home.

I am so glad, I decided to leave the tour early.  As an introvert, and homebody, I can bear the company of others and being away for a limited time.

 

B26

It is now official.  I play bingo, therefore I am old-gulp!  Yes, I go to the senior(not high school) center and along with about twenty other oldsters  to play bingo on Wednesday mornings.

I find that I am somewhat competitive, unhappy when someone at my table gets a bingo and I don’t.  We play for petty cash to keep it interesting.  Generally, a fun way to spend an hour.  But the games continue for one and one-half hours, and I get bored and leave after sixty minutes.

Getting older is a strange journey.  When I turned 70, I became depressed and convinced that my life was over, or at least meaningless.  That despair lasted almost two years.  But I am feeling better now, and even enjoying my little life.

I am more open to social gatherings, but will always crave time alone-just not too much.  I talk to, instead of avoiding, my neighbors and am even making some upgrades to my condo.  For now, life is good.

And on Sunday, I am traveling to New Orleans.  Than you G-d.

MARRIED(?) MEN

Yesterday morning I was attending a discussion group about current events, which I frequent weekly.  It is one of the only places I go to regularly that has more men in it than women.  Nice change.

Anyway, I arrived early(as usual) and began talking to several of the men.  Many are retired federal employees and lawyers.  So, this one man was quite attentive to me, asked me questions and even admired photos of my grandchildren.  Still single after all these years, I thought he  liked me and perhaps we would get together another time.

Throughout the discussion(sexual harassment, racial inequality, etc.) we whispered back and forth and commented on what people were saying.

He was not wearing a wedding ring.  So here I go fantasizing about our future, and assuming he was single.  Towards the end of the discussion, I rummaged around in my purse looking for my “business” card with all my contact information.

Now, I am not shy and am not destroyed by rejection.When the meeting ended, I asked if he was married He answered “yes,”but that he was allergic to gold What in the world does that mean?  I didn’t give him my card. I do have some boundaries. We continued chatting following the group.

We each departed and went our own ways.  I don’t feel embarrassed that I asked about his marital status.  You never know who might be a good prospect.

What is a single woman supposed to do? Hey, guys, how about wearing wedding rings like most women do?  It would help a lot.

GOOD COMPANY

I was watching an interview with Warren Buffet on television, and I am always interested in what he has to say.   The one fact that he revealed that made me happy was that he still uses a flip phone.  He could buy Apple and get any phone he wanted.  But, no, he sticks with the flip phone.

Me, too.  I purchased an iphone, brought it home and couldn’t even figure out how to charge it’s batteries.  It felt like an intruder in my home, and I couldn’t wait to return it to Verizon.  Which I did the next day.

I thought I was smart, but the phone is apparently smarter.  Anyway, hardly anybody calls me, and when I am out I like being out-of-touch.  My daughter knows how to reach me and that’s all I care about.

I figured out how to text(however awkward,) and can even take photos on my old reliable flip.  I do feel embarrassed that I don’t own a smart phone, but I am afraid to try again.  When I travel, I hide my flip and rarely use it.  Phones have taken all the fun out of flying  or traveling by train.  No spontaneous conversations, just everyone being territorial with their electronics.  I miss the old(like me) days.

Another thing I have in common with Buffet is that we both own Coca-Cola (KO) stock and like it a lot.  When I was ten years old, my dad gave me some money to invest and I chose Coke.  This turned out to be a good move, even today.

So, if you see my trying to hide my flip phone while talking on it, just remember that I am in good company.

HOW MANY APPLES EQUAL ONE COOKIE?

Tonight I was eating dinner in front of the television, as usual.  I had prepared a fairly healthy meal of roasted brusells sprouts and baked chicken.  Yummy?  Not even close.  I have never really liked “real” food, and could live on sugary sweets and peanut butter.

But I feel guilty about my sweet indulgences, and so I try to eat foods that may even be good for me.  But something clicked for me tonight.  Mid-sprout, I realized that I hated the little green vegetables(petit chous in French for little cabbages,) and that the chicken was tough and tasteless.  Enough of this forced regimen, I decided.

So I went to the freezer and pulled out a partly-eaten quart of low-fat ice cream and softened it in the microwave for a few seconds.  With my frozen treat in a bowl, I added uncooked cookie dough(I know it is supposed to be dangerous,) but I am older now and make my own decisions.  To top off my confection(concoction) I spooned on a spoonful of Hershey’s cocoa and a packet of artificial sweetener.  Now this was good eating.

I thoroughly enjoyed my treat and without a scintila of guilt.  It is time for me(and anyone else who is ready) to enjoy myself.  I was a skinny athlete when young, and now I am a rounded late-life lady.  And I am much happier.

So, when I think I should eat an apple, and end up eating the cookie, anyway, I will attempt to remember that I am the boss of my own life, and skip the fruit.

Good news.  Starbucks is now giving out coupons giving the customer two of the big cookies after a purchase of one-heavenly.

Bon Appetit!