For the past several months, I have been constantly starved for what I thought was food.  I ate meals, and still snacked all day and night.  My favorite go-to yummy was a mini Kind Bar.  They are low in calories and full of nuts and caramel or chocolate.  Eating the little goodies only made me hungrier because of the load of sugar they contained.  I also became somewhat hooked on a breakfast cereal with chocolate bits in it.  When I went to the grocery store today, I had to turn on my willpower to turn off the craving for the sweet treat.

I ate a hamburger for lunch today, and one hour later was back in the kitchen hunting for some food to fill the emptiness.   Standing at the sink, I realized that I wasn’t hungry for food, but for company or something to do.  So, I shut the door of the refrigerator, cleaned the cooktop of my stove, which never seems to be totally free of baked-on food, and decided to chew a piece of gum instead of eating unwanted food.

What a revelation-I was starved for something that was not to be found in the kitchen.  I was lonely, and sought food as a way of filling the emptiness.  But it didn’t work, and my tights got tighter, and my stomach stuck out in an unflattering, unfamiliar way.

During this period of endless hunger, I even got out of bed at night to make hot chocolate and drink it with Hershey Kisses.  This night-time repast didn’t touch my hunger and just made me have to use the bathroom in the darkness.

Living alone, and an introvert by temperament makes the days and nights seem terribly long and empty.    I still have not found the activity which would fill me up.   Reading and TV don’t keep me company, and my search for a male companion has failed miserably.

So, at least I know that my appetite is not for something to eat, but for something to do and a companion to do it with.





Recently, I took a train trip to Philadelphia on Amtrak.  The journey was pleasantly uneventful in both directions with nothing special to mention.  When I returned home, I received an email from Amtrak with a survey attached inquiring about the quality of my experience.  They asked about topics ranging from the promptness of the trains to the cleanliness of the interior.  Nothing wrong so far, but I began to see a pattern here.

Whenever I purchase an item or travel by train or air, I receive a query asking about how much I liked the item or trip and specifically how the particular company performed.  These communications have become a nuisance, and I have stopped filling out the forms.  I pay the bill, and that should be all that is required of the consumer.

I understand that the corporations want to find out how they performed and was I, the customer, satisfied with the transaction.  But does Amazon really care if I am satisfied with the soap I ordered?  And is Amtrak planning to make changes to their operation based on feedback from train travelers?  I doubt it.

Locally, stores from Starbucks to Giant are handing out pieces of paper with web sites to visit to rate my experience with them.  Kohl’s even promises discounts if the surveys are completed.  And individual salespeople are anxious for me to mention their particularly good service while shopping.  Enough already.

Isn’t it sufficient for us to patronize these places and use the services offered without having to give them a report card?  I thought that shelling out our money was enough.