October 28, 2018-a very sad day.
Maybe I have no right to write this blog as I don’t belong to a synagogue, and never even attended Sunday School. I played tennis on those days growing up. But I still feel like crying today.
The tragedy in Pittsburgh highlighted how much I feel and even look Jewish. My hair curls and frizzes and my face has semitic characteristics. And when not around a crowd of my own faith, I wonder if someone will tell a “Jewish” joke.
I watched in horror, with the rest of the world, yesterday as the horrific scene in Pittsburgh unfolded. How could this nightmare really be taking place? I have been increasingly aware of the growing anti-Semitism these days, but felt a bit immune and smug that it would never affect me. But it did back when I was in high school.
I applied to Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois and hoped for an acceptance. But my guidance counselor received a rejection stating that”they didn’t want any northeast Jews.” I was somewhat stunned, but not enough to say or do anything in response. I attended Barnard College instead. But I have never forgotten the feeling of being so unwanted.
These days, I am mostly aware of my Judaism because my dear daughter is observant and her children celebrated their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. She has always been more religious than me.
Today, I have been acutely aware of my religion. I have a glimpse of what the main minorities in this country must feel. I don’t pretend to feel the depth of their pain when discriminated against, or horifically shot as in that grocery store outside Louisville, Kentucky.
I just know that I feel more vulnerable and afraid. Do people notice that I am Jewish? I know we live in a mainly Christian country. But there is a place and room for all of us to be free and feel safe.
I pray for the victims in Pittsburgh and for all of us.